Birthday Goodie Bags are lame and I'm not spending $10 to send your kid home with a bag of crap--plastic toys that will be tossed or broken by the time they reach your house, more candy on top of the ice cream and cake that you kid probably ate, and a plastic bag that will sit in some landfill for the next few eons. No, I refuse to give out goodie bags at the end of my child's birthday party.

And while we're on the topic of birthday rants--shame on you parents! You are responsible for teaching etiquette and decorum. What does that mean? If our children play together after school on a daily basis and my child does not get an invitation to your child's birthday party...then boo on you as the parent.